Black History Month Giphy

[In my Kanye West voice] Black women hold the blame for the break down and break up of black families.

There. I said it. I’m sure many of you will automatically disagree with me. You will call me all kinds of names except a child of God. I respect your position, but I ask that you hear me out.

First, I want you to know that I subscribe to and live by the philosophy that you can’t control anyone except yourself. I believe before you point fingers of blame you have to hold yourself accountable. Once you do that, you won’t have a reason to point fingers because no one can do to you what you don’t allow them to do. Period. Point blank. With that said, I am holding myself (and other black women) accountable for the perpetuation of a cultural standard that I believe is keeping us single and our families broken. What is that?

The need, desire and active participation in the Miss Independent Movement.

Translation: You don’t know how to play your position. You want to be treated like a woman, but you act like a man.

I know you have heard this before. Black men say it all the time. NO, I don’t think you should own everything someone says, but I do think you should take a minute to understand where they are coming from. To that end, I have spent numerous hours talking to black men from all walks of life about why they choose women of other races. They all say the same thing:

  • Black women are too hard.
  • Black women are don’t know how to treat a man.
  • Black women are just too rough around the edges.

Dear Black Man, I Want And Need You

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