Deya Smith Explains Why Softness Is a Form of Power
- Softness is a strength that allows self-care, not a sign of weakness.
- Maintaining boundaries and individuality is key to being 'soft with edges'.
- Unresolved trauma can shape behavior, so it's important to recognize and release it.
Deya Smith is encouraging women to rethink what it means to be soft.
The best selling author, award winning executive producer and therapeutic life coach recently joined Get Up Mornings with Erica Campbell to talk about the 10th anniversary edition of her book, Soft Is The New Power: Heal Your Feminine Heart and Thrive in Love and Life. Smith, who has since become a clinical mental health counselor, said a decade of growth has given her an even deeper understanding of the message behind the book.
For Smith, softness has never meant being weak. Instead, she now sees it as a form of wisdom and self care.
“Most importantly, that softness is not weakness,” Smith told Campbell. “It’s wisdom, right? It’s your ability to take care of yourself.”
She also emphasized that taking care of yourself should not come with guilt. Smith believes women often carry the responsibility of caring for everyone around them while neglecting their own needs.
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“If mama ain’t good, ain’t nobody good, honey,” she said.
One of the new chapters in the anniversary edition is titled “Soft With Edges,” which explores how women can maintain their strength while still being loving and compassionate.
Smith explained that having boundaries does not mean changing your personality or becoming less authentic. Instead, she believes people can hold onto their individuality while learning when it is necessary to soften.
She compared it to caring for your hair. When hair becomes too hard and loses its moisture, it can eventually break. Smith said people can experience something similar when they operate with too much emotional hardness.
“You gotta be able to moisturize your life with the Holy Spirit so that you don’t break,” she explained.
According to Smith, many of the hard edges people develop are connected to experiences that helped them survive. Childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances can teach people to protect themselves. The problem comes when those protective behaviors continue long after they are needed.
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“You gotta know how to be more than one thing, to yourself first and then to others,” she said.
The conversation also touched on Smith’s work with young people through the Madam Walker Legacy Center Summer Institute. She explained that the principles in her book can apply to children because unresolved trauma can follow people into adulthood.
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Smith encouraged people to learn how to recognize and release what they have carried from painful experiences instead of allowing it to shape every part of their lives.
Her 10th anniversary edition of Soft Is The New Power is available through Amazon and other book retailers. Fans can also connect with Smith through Deia Direct and her website, deiadirect.net.
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Deya Smith Explains Why Softness Is a Form of Power was originally published on getuperica.com
