How can you edify (build, improve) your mate and thereby enhance his self-worth? By discovering–and doing–what pleases him.

Relationships, good or bad take alot of work. God smiles on marriage but there are times they may go through some rough times…

There comes a time in every marriage when one or both partners feel like they’ve hit a roadblock and don’t know how to get around it. Whether you and your spouse are facing a small bump in the road or a big one, it’s not too late to get back on track. Consider these nine steps to start healing your relationship and building a healthier, happier marriage.

1. Keep it real

Relationships are of course never as perfect as a Hollywood movie or your favorite pop song. After the honeymoon is over, couples have to face the day-to-day grind. Keep your expectations realistic, accept your partner for himself or herself, and take life’s inevitable changes as they come.

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2. Don’t stop dating

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut, especially after you have kids. Take time to escape the routine and go on a date with your spouse. Once a week (or at least on a regular basis), you should arrange for a sitter, make a reservation at your favorite restaurant, and have a great night out on the town.

3. Be friends

Friendship and communication are key to a solid marriage. It is important to talk with each other and be each other’s best friend. This type of closeness allows you to build a solid foundation in your relationship and weather the inevitable storms.

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4. Let go of the past

Many people find it difficult to trust. Past hurts and disappointments may have left scars. Don’t let old wounds get in the way of your current partnership. When issues arise, be willing to work through them and forgive.

5. Build trust

If you’re the type who attracts a lot of friends of the opposite sex, you may want to consider letting go of those relationships after you’re married. Marriage counselors and coaches believe that opposite-sex friendships are risky. Instead, try to find other married couples who share common interests.

6. Time it out for friends

You don’t have to cut off all of your outside relationships, but limit time with friends. An occasional boys’ or girls’ night out is fine, but too much time away from your spouse can lead to problems at home.

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7. Make time for intimacy

It’s common for work and family pressures to put a damper on your love life. Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D., suggests that couples should give their spouse undivided attention a minimum of 15 hours each week. They should take the time to meet each other’s needs for affection, intimate conversation and sexual fulfillment.

8. Kick those bad habits

Couples that find themselves criticizing, blaming complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, or bribing can find their love life in a serious rut.

9. Choose your battles

As they say, don’t sweat the small stuff. Betsy Sansby, MS, suggests that couples try her S.T.O.P. method. She points out that when people are sad or angry, they don’t think straight.

During a conflict, stop and tell your partner you need a break. Time out and separate from him or her for about 30-60 minutes. Own your part, calm yourself down, and analyze your behavior. Offer a hug, kiss, or an agreement after the dust settles.

source:  elev8.com

The astronaut husband of wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords has made his choice. He’s headed to space in April.

An official close to the space shuttle program confirmed Friday morning that astronaut Mark Kelly will be aboard Endeavour for its final flight. The official did not want to be named because the information has not yet been made public.

Kelly is holding a news conference at Johnson Space Center in Houston on Friday afternoon.

He took a leave from training after his wife was gunned down outside a Tucson, Ariz., supermarket on Jan. 8 as she met with constituents on Jan. 8. Six people were killed and 12 others injured. Giffords is now undergoing rehab in Houston.

Kelly, 46, spent the past month debating whether to step down as commander of Endeavour’s two-week mission. As he agonized over the decision, NASA named a backup commander, Rick Sturckow, who joined crew training.

Liftoff is targeted for April 19.

Kelly’s identical twin, Scott, currently commander of the International Space Station, hinted in an interview earlier this week that his brother would choose to fly.

Kelly has flown three times aboard space shuttles; April’s trip to the International Space Station will be his fourth.

The mission already was set to be one of the highest profile shuttle flights ever. It will be Endeavour’s last voyage and the next-to-last for the entire 30-year shuttle program, and will feature the delivery of an elaborate physics experiment by a Nobel prize winner.

With Kelly back on board, the launch will “get the same kind of attention that the (1998) John Glenn mission” received, said Howard McCurdy, a public policy professor and space expert at American University in Washington, D.C.

McCurdy suggested the public will embrace Kelly’s decision, because it provides a sense of normalcy.

“We all want her to go back to Congress; we’d like them both to continue their careers and we’d like them to be whole and normal as if this thing had never happened,” said McCurdy, author of the book “Space and the American Imagination.”

Both Kellys are Navy captains and joined NASA’s astronaut corps in 1996. In an interview from the space station Wednesday, Scott Kelly said their Navy background as high-performance pilots enables them to put their personal lives aside, when necessary, and focus on the job at hand.

“My brother certainly is very good at that,” he told The Associated Press. “If he does choose, and NASA management chooses, for him to fly this mission … I am absolutely 100 percent confident that he will have no problem fulfilling his responsibilities the same way as if this incident would have never occurred.”

Scott Kelly will be back on Earth by the time his brother flies. He’s due to land in a Russian Soyuz capsule in mid-March, closing out a 5 1/2-month mission.

source: wtvd.com; Associated Press

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (WTVD) — A North Carolina woman already accused of killing her mother with an ax in South Florida has been charged with plotting to kill her husband.
The Broward Sheriff’s Office reports that 41-year-old Martha Walker was charged Thursday with conspiracy to commit murder.
According to multiple media outlets, Walker is from Fayetteville. It is not clear if that’s where her husband lives.
An inmate told jail officials that Walker approached her last month and asked if she knew anyone who could kill her husband in North Carolina. Walker reportedly wanted to collect death benefits from his insurance.
She wanted her husband “killed in an automobile accident” and wanted him to be left “unrecognizable.”
Authorities set up a sting, where Walker reportedly agreed to pay a hit man $1,500 to kill her husband.

source of article

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=news/local&id=7713391

God puts people together in marriage–for mutual encouragement. An encouraged husband makes a great life partner–he’s more positive, responsive, and better equipped to work and serves your whole family.

 You have an incredible ability to “make or break” your husband’s day or week–or decade–by what you say and do. Here are a few ways to stand by your man and make him feel as though he’s the greatest.

 Say thanks.

If you find it hard to come up with ways to encourage your husband, saying thanks is a great place to start. Thank him for holding open a door, picking up the newspaper after he’s finished, or tucking your kids into bed.

Know your man.

What are his strong points? His weak ones? Become an expert on your spouse.

 Maybe your husband’s a wonderful father. Or maybe he’s a good financial provider.

Develop a sharp eye for noticing small steps in positive directions, then encourage your husband in them.

 Search for significance.

 God created us with a deep desire for meaning and significance. Maybe his significance is the kids or maybe your husband finds meaning in his job. So show interest in what goes on at his workplace: What challenges does he face, what new projects is he involved in, what goals must he meet?

 If you’ve never talked to your husband about why he thinks God put him in his job and in your family, ask him!

Dare to dream with him.

 Is there something your husband always longed to do when you were first married, but he’s stopped mentioning it now that you’re busy with bills and kids and ministry demands? What’s his dream for the future?

 Your support in listening to his dreams—and even enabling a few to come true—communicates your respect. Dreaming together is like marriage insurance: You’re blending your hopes for a shared future.

Be on his side.

 Keep thinking of you two as a lifelong team. So when your husband has a problem, it’s your problem, too. A husband longs for this kind of companionship—to know he’s not alone.

Get off your agenda and onto his.

 We get accustomed to organizing our family’s weekly menus, schedules, social calendars, and errands. So sometimes it may be hard to let go of the reins and let our husband “drive” some of the family time. Yet it may be as simple as starting one Saturday with a flexible attitude, prepared to rearrange our tasks and errands around his plans for the day.

Nothing shows our love and respect more than backing off to give our husband’s plans and ideas some room to develop.

Be available for physical intimacy.

 If you are coming together physically, it’s a good sign you’re working well as a team. It’s a signal (an encouragement!) to him that he’s doing fine at home.

 Don’t wait for your husband to “deserve it.”

 Maybe your husband takes you for granted. Maybe he never says thank you. So what I’m asking—for you to encourage and respect him anyway—seems like something requiring superhuman strength.

 Here’s the good news: There is superhuman power accessible to help you. Ask God to give you his love for your husband. Ask God to help you see one or two good aspects in your husband you can praise and respect.

 e the one to set a new standard for encouraging words and behavior in your marriage. God will honor your efforts, and your husband’s going to love it!

ANNETTE LAPLACA, a freelance editor and writer, lives in the Chicago area.

Source:  Kyria.com