One thing that is for certain when thinking about how God created us is that we are all sexual beings. Birds do it, bees do it, and humans since the dawn of time have done it.
But just how much has the act really changed through the millennia and even in past decades? Are humans doing it more? Are we doing it better? Some scientist say, yes to some degree. But it’s how people fess up to the truth about their sex lives that has changed the most over the years. Humans have basically been the same anatomically for about 100,000 years—so it’s probably safe to say that if we enjoy it now, then so did our cave-dwelling ancestors and everyone else since, experts say. “Just as our bodies tell us what we might like to eat, or when we should go to sleep, they lay down for us our sexual desires. Sex has always offered pleasure.
Something we don’t like to acknowledge a lot is the fact that God hardwired us for sex. Social and cultural up bringing determines a lot of how we handle it. Nevertheless being sexually active will affect your mind and emotions. Let’s address the issue of being single and sexual because how does one get through the night? That’s a question each individual has to answer for him or herself. But I do want to touch base about a word many are afraid to address “masturbation.” Masturbation according to the bible is not directly mentioned but a lot of people try to refer to Onan in (Gen. 38:9) with Tamar. When you look closely at the scripture you will realize that what Onan was doing was clearly not masturbation when the bible referred to not allowing the seed to spill. It was a matter of intercourse with his brother’s wife with making sure he did not get her pregnant. The very mystery of masturbation is a God thing when you consider the fact that it can even be done. (Ever try tickling yourself?) However being sexually active without being in a married union between a man and a woman is a sin and carries a big price tag. In (I Cor. 6:18) the bible declares no other sin will damage us like sexual sin. But masturbation is one of those “gray areas” in the bible that is not directly mentioned.
Because the issue is never addressed directly, here are a few things to consider:
- Don’t avoid something as natural as a sexual feeling or it becomes taboo and takes on a stronger (out of control) feeling then necessary. So hit the issue head on maybe through counseling, prayer, and/or study more about the topic.
- Some theologians believe masturbation the act is not a sin but the lust that it “usually” requires is a sin. Rom 14:12-13 (NIV) So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling-block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
- The world of masturbation has limitless boundaries, thus giving the opportunity for “un-realistic” fantasies that may affect your real relationship when you finally get one. This could include pain killers and a long list of promiscuous behaviors that may cause for an un-balance life.
- Consider the “balanced” and “free” approach the word says, “Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling.” At some point in life bring balance to everything leaving no stone un-turned… No big secrets… walk in freedom and don’t allow yourself to get over whelm by nothing in this life. (1 Peter 4:1-2) “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”
Far be it for me to tell you the end all to be all when it comes to this subject and for that reason I won’t. The idea here is to get you talking maybe express your light on the subject so that it may help others see through what can be a very dark area in one’s life. A friend of mine recently told me of a book entitled “Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage” that sounds like a great read for issues like this. I think the way to answer questions like these is not to argue over right and wrong but rather discuss the results of one’s actions and how it can lead to doing the right or the wrong thing.
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at 11:38 am
True, sex is something that most churched will not address and when our members become pregnant or make other choices, we feel we are so HOLY we can’t show mercy and God’s grace will never forgive them and move on. I am proud that I belong to a church in Williamstown NJ where our pastor speaks from the Bible about every subject that the world talks about. He is very transparent and has no problem addressing what is common to men/women…….We are losing our people and until we come to the realization that God is able to help us with all things we will forever stay in the dark.Lets’ stop playing church and start living with Christ….
at 11:55 pm
First let me applaud you for this topic because sex-talk, in church, that is taboo, but this is really something that needs to be addressed in the church. It will assuredly cut down on the divorce rate amongst christians. I also enjoyed the 10 signs of the unhealthy dating relationship. I personally found myself in simular situations/relationships that I had to let go because they were definitely unhealthy spiritually/mentally/etc, but the 10 signs hit it right on the money.
As for making it through the night…that is a tough one especially when one has been sexually active prior to giving his/her life to Christ, but never-the-less, what I have found that works for me is this, and let me say first that this wasn’t a change that happen over night this thing took a while, and I am currently persevering. Matthew 12 verse 43 talks about an evil spirit going out of man, and returning to find house clean an empty etc… Well anytime you are trying to let something go that has been apart of your life, for a while the first thing you have to do is replace whatever it is with something else. Since sex is the issue here making it through the night…If your struggle is at night try fasting, praying, reading, or all three at that time(remember Matthew 17 verse 21).
As I stated earlier this may not be something that is going to take place over-night in your life, however we know God is able, but just incase it doesn’t happen over-night just know that God’s GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. Be real with yourself though lets not make a mockery of Gods Grace and Mercy! You have to persevere in your fasting, praying, and reading because the desires are going to continue to come, but it will help you tell your flesh NO in areas where you use to tell it YES!!! You can overcome though because GREATER IS HE THAT IS WITHIN YOU, and don’t forget to continue to SPEAK THOSE THINGS THAT ARE NOT AS THOUGH THEY WERE no matter what your situation looks like. The woman with the issue of blood has been great inspiration to me because she battled her issue for 12 YEARS, but with PERSEVERANCE she was delivered!
You continue to do what you are supposed to do, and WAIT for God to do what he do, Be Blessed Man/Woman of God!!!!!